Friday, December 30, 2005

New vodka commercial

"It's Majorska....

....or it's my ass-ka out the door-ska!!!

Majorska vodka. No longer bottled in Clifton, NJ. Suck a butt."

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmastime, Pollyanna Karmichael

Chris Parnell kidded, "Come play Kristine's curried pipes. Klesmer!"
Currently, paleontologists kill Cretaceous, Pleistocene ketones.
Can't predict knife cuts. Please, krinkle.

Is this thing on?

Santa slid his giant loaded behind up the chimney sack, produced a toilet seat cover and sat upon it.

Did I say "chimney sack?"

I can't go on with this post.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Flute Flaunts Approbate

You can be unstoppable. If if anyones ever asks yous ta stop, jes' says, "naw."

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

This is what you wanted.

You smell like a great sack of mulch,
That's been kicked around by Les Fulch.
Appear'n on the horizon:
pension cuts at Verizon.
"The Cowboys of Tomahawk Gulch"

Monday, December 05, 2005

Eatin' Wheaton

There once was a cus-cus named Nestor,
who was uncommonly good at Canastor.
He went to the world champs
chiggity chiggity bamps
something elegiac that rhymes with the word 'fester.'

Must keep moving

The road to reconstruction begins now. I remember the story of the apple; the apple that had arms and legs. The apple didn't have a head; it was not a sentient apple, it just had arms and legs. It couldn't walk around or grab onto anything, so maybe it didn't have arms and legs, that was the grapefruit. The grapefruit had arms and legs, and what set it apart from the apple was that it had a mouth, and it screamed when it died.

Trotsky had it right when he said.....

I think we all know who the real winner is.

It's r&b superstar Al B. Sure.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Belated update: Day 3

The war is over. I win! A duyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee